Why boys are girls.

As usual, todays story is about a boy. He’s a friend of a friend and despite me being slightly standoffish and hideously drunk the night we met, there ended up being cute hand holding and a barrage of compliments. I’d be totally lying if I said it wasn’t the kind of rubbish we single females are constantly not trying to give into. He was charming, to say the least so true to form I got drunk and kissed him because he was hot and if I’m honest – I wasn’t just drunk, I was slightly wooed. Now I know that when I say that he was charming you may be thinking; PC

Wrong.

When I think of charming guys, I relate them to fireworks. And what do we know about fireworks? exciting. dangerous. beautiful ..but I wouldn’t want one in my mouth (mad props to comedian Cal Wilson for that) In any case, despite my knowledge of charming men and (best?) efforts to go home alone, my friend and I ended up back at his place with some others. There was drinks and chatting for a while until he and I got into bed together. With the small amount of charm resistance I had left, I managed to pull off some kind of snuggly version of the sexless innkeeper, but as I had feared I left his house feeling a little too giddy and excited. He ended up adding me on instagram / snapchat the next day which prompted me to have a quick stalk. Within five minutes I was aware that 1. He was seeing another girl 2. He was seeing her enough that she thought he was pretty much her boyfriend 3. His ex was his top snapchat buddy Not Cool. He continued to text me and be all charming and suggest we hung out but I casually avoided it for quite a while and made a few subtle attempts to call him out on being a dick basically because I knew if I agreed to see jim I’d end up liking him and get myself into trouble. He got a bit frustrated and kept saying I didn’t like him and besides the odd snapchat conversation, I didn’t hear from him mucg until he randomly text me a few weeks ago wanting to hang out. Being bored in the male department and well – sexless – I agreed that he could come round later in the week, but I ended up being sick and had to cancel. He was fine about it and said he hoped I got well soon. The following Saturday, feeling much better after some good sleep and a couple of days off work, I was getting ready for a night out and so the usual Snapchat selfies went out, to which I received the following; Now as you read it, bear in mind the response I would get if I sent that text to someone who had made it fairly clear they weren’t interested in much more than sex;

image

 

😐 U mad bro?

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