Attention: Future Self

Why I should avoid getting kidnapped (aside from the obvious)

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( god love him, he’s a really nice guy… just not my type. At all )

Why I don’t trust people with the name voldemort

Dear future self,

If your brain says;
‘his name is voldermort, that’s probably a bad sign’
Then it is a bad sign.

Accept it.

Me

As a part of my fruitless, drunken, persuit of my next great date or horizontal dance partner, on Thursday night I had one of my top gal pals accompany me to a bar in the city, and act as quality control for potential male talent (because lets face it, I need help). (more…)

Why I am George Costanza

Dear future self,

Sending pictures of George Costanza being sad just because he likes Seinfeld is not how you get his attention. And it is not cute. And it is not endearing.

It is, however, how you put him off getting back to you – ever – on the off chance there was a legitimate reason for the lack of response in the first place.

*sigh*

Me.

Haven’t heard from TDH for ages… Sad face.

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So obviously after already sending 2 texts last week without response (yuck) I sent this just cause I thought our shared love for Seinfeld would bring us back together.

Now that I have totally done the crazy multiple text stalker lady thing, its time I must accept that the ship has sailed… Probably away from me in fright.
Super sadface.

Why I am a flamingo

Dear Future Self,

Don’t hang out with guys that want to date you. Thats how you end up on an accidental date.

Also, you are definitely a flamingo.

Me.

 

Recently there was a band touring Melbourne who I really wanted to see and none of my trusty music event friends were available for the gig.
Allowing not for defeat, I decided my best bet would be to ask this guy I dated 4 years ago because we saw this band on our first date. We were still on good termsso that’s not weird, right?
Wrong. Because the important piece information which I had elected to ignore was the matter of his recent and  frequent apology texts for his behavior whilst we were dating and asking for a second chance. (more…)

Why boys are girls.

As usual, todays story is about a boy. He’s a friend of a friend and despite me being slightly standoffish and hideously drunk the night we met, there ended up being cute hand holding and a barrage of compliments. I’d be totally lying if I said it wasn’t the kind of rubbish we single females are constantly not trying to give into. He was charming, to say the least so true to form I got drunk and kissed him because he was hot and if I’m honest – I wasn’t just drunk, I was slightly wooed. (more…)