Why I am not as smart as I like to think I am

Dear Future Self,

If you did something you feel like you shouldn’t even tell your blog about, it was probably a terrible idea.
Also your ex boyfriends junk is not made of candy. Remember this.



In the past few weeks I have become aware that at some point in my life, I must have subconsciously decided that my behaviour (and the consequences of it) is not bound by the same basic principles as everyone else’s.

In this wisdom, about 2 weekends ago I decided it would be absolutely fine for me to sleep with my ex (who, for the record – now goes by Voldemort. Because he must not be named and certainly not slept with). (more…)


Why I think I finally have a crush

Dear Future Self,

A single good date does not constitute a marriage in the works, so keep calm and keep your pants on at all times.

And for heavens sake, please don’t ruin this by being.. well, you.

I’d really appreciate your co-operation on this one


So, here it is; the Valentines date.

We struggled to work out a good time to see a movie due to both working later than expected, and that conversation somehow ended in him suggesting we just hang out at my place.

Cue me: *panic*


Why song lyrics are not inspiration for snap chats.

Dear Future Self,

When you were getting to go out and enthusiatically sinking pre drinks whilst listening to the Arctic Monkeys, and you realised that the lyrics to that one song said;

‘the nights are mainly made for saying things that you cant say tomorrow day’

That wasn’t a suggestion or meant as inspiration for your drunk texts and snap chats.

Put the phone down, idiot.


P.S Props for not drunk exting. Maybe there’s hope for you yet!

I’d be lying if I said my night out late last week was anything but out of hand.

It started with a text from my bestie about midday suggesting an impromptu adventure at a new club event that was launching that night. Given that it had been a fairly average few days and I’d been feeling itchy to bust a move all week, I immediately said ‘heck yes’.


Why I’m just not that into him

Dear Future Self,

If all you have to say to your friends about the new tall, handsome, funny guy you’ve been dating is;

He’s really nice

Chances are, you’re just not that into him

I’d say dont beat yourself up about it… but I wouldn’t mean it


One night during the drunken haze that has been Saturday nights since ‘the breakup’, I was approached by a guy who I would – without hesitation – describe as entirely out of my league.I was waiting at the bar on my own, he wandered over to me from across the room, paid me a polite compliment, and walked away.

Now in my experience, a completely random compliment from a dead sexy man is usually caused by a game of truth or dare, or desperation of a sexual nature.

To cut a long story short, he and I ended up kissing. No sleezy dancefloor boners, no inappropriate groping. Okay.
He asked for my number as he left. No sleazy ‘come over’ message. Okay.
At this point it would be safe to say I had determined that he found me repulsive and was trying to be polite by taking my number.  Wrong. He text me the following day, did the whole ‘get to know you’ bit and since then we’ve been on a few dates. They’ve been great. He loves to travel, has his own house, plays sport, great conversations, laughs at my jokes and agrees that if you need to save money, watching a toddlers and tiaras marathon instead of going out is a totally viable option for a Saturday night. He insists on picking me up for dates and paying for everything. He hasnt tried to get into my pants, isn’t overly clingy or sappy but doesn’t hesitate to send a cute text occasionally.
Complete dreamboat.
And he’s interested in me.

So whats the catch?

Totally not into him.

Brain, you have outdone yourself on this one.

Why christmas is the festive season and the new year is serious.

Dear Future Self,

Welcome to 2014.
Just in case you were wondering – no, you haven’t outlived people’s memories of the corporate christmas party yet.

Good career move.